dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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