youre lurking in front of me
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
