the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
