She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
