i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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