Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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