Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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