Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
zippers are such a cool invention
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
