I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
