My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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