Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize