I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
