im drinking this country out of the recession.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
