I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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