508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
