I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
high people should be assigned attendants
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
