you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My vagina is very pro this idea
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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