My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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