I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
