did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I need moral support for this bender
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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