yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
