You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Farmville is her only friend.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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