Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
