I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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