peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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