"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
