so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
