i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
