last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
