he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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