I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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