My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
