I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
