so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
