I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
