too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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