"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Are we still banned from the library?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
