dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
