i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
