My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
