I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
