You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
