dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
