I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My dick has a subreddit
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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