do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
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