oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
