If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
