OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
