I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
