So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
