Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
