I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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