Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
