He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
