sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
