she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
